The Stages & Steps to Choosing a Retirement Home
by Joy Birch, President, Highview Residences
The hope for this article is to offer practical tools, gentle guidance, and thoughtful starting points as you search for a retirement home.
You may want to save this, print it, or share it with others involved in the decision. And if it helps, we would truly value your feedback.
Through years of walking alongside people and families, we’ve found that most journeys include five stages. Every situation is different—but this framework can help bring some clarity to what can feel overwhelming.
The stages are:
Discovery – information gathering
Financial review
Home visits
The waiting list
Saying yes and moving day
Stage 1 – Discovery and Information Gathering
This stage can be short or long, depending on your circumstances.
Some people begin exploring options early, simply to understand what is available. Others arrive here more urgently, when a change in health, safety, or daily living makes a move necessary.
The goal of this stage is to:
understand the different types of retirement living options
identify what matters most to you and your family
begin to explore what feels like the right fit
To help organize this stage, you may find it useful to create a few simple lists.
A) Online Research
Start with a simple search:
“retirement homes + [your city]”
Make note of what comes up. Which homes appear consistently? Begin exploring their websites.
Top homes to explore:
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Also take time to read reviews.
Google Reviews can be helpful—look for overall patterns rather than focusing on one or two comments.
Indeed reviews (from staff) can also offer insight into the culture of the home. How people feel about working there often reflects the experience of those living there.
B) Word of Mouth and Conversations
If you know someone who has recently made a move to a retirement home, reach out.
Ask simple questions:
What home did you choose?
What mattered most to you?
What do you wish you had known earlier?
Also consider location. Is it easy for family and friends to visit regularly? Proximity often matters more than we think.
C) Trusted Sources
There may be people in your life you trust who can help guide you.
Name | Phone | Their suggestion
Lawyer
POA
Family doctor
Estate planner
Financial planner
Minister / Priest
Home care agency
Social worker
Geriatric physician
VON
Home and Community Care
Hospital discharge planner
Family
D) What Matters Most in a Home
Take a moment to reflect on what is truly important.
What feels essential? What would simply be nice to have?
You may want to mark:
must-have
nice-to-have
not important
Some ideas to consider:
Private room
Private bathroom
Preferred location
Access to additional care services if needed
Outdoor space or gardens
Ease of visiting (routes, parking, transit)
All-inclusive living or a la carte services
Ability to remain as needs change
Meals that feel like home
Meaningful daily activities
Consistent staffing and nursing presence
Welcoming spaces for family visits
Ability to bring in additional care if needed
Laundry and housekeeping
Safety and accessibility
Bathing and personal care options
Pets
Retirement Homes vs Long-Term Care in Ontario
As you begin your search, it’s helpful to understand the difference between retirement homes and long-term care. Many people use these terms interchangeably—but they are quite different.
Retirement homes are privately paid and offer a range of services that can be adjusted over time. For many people, this allows for a balance of independence, daily support, and community living. Waiting lists are often shorter, and in some cases, a move can happen relatively quickly.
Long-term care is government-funded, with set monthly fees. Access is coordinated through Home and Community Care, and waiting lists can be longer. These homes are designed for people who require more consistent, around-the-clock support.
Some people choose to move into a retirement home while waiting for a long-term care placement—especially if care needs are increasing and timing is uncertain.
Stage 2 – Financial Review
Understanding cost is an important part of the decision.
Retirement homes in Ontario are private pay, with a range of pricing depending on the level of accommodation and care.
It’s important to understand:
what is included in the monthly fee
what services are additional
how costs may change over time
You may want to ask:
“If care needs increase, how will that impact monthly costs?”
Consider budgeting for:
Personal care
Medication support
Meals and snacks
Housekeeping and laundry
Mobility or bathing support
Specialized diets
Additional services as needed
Planning ahead can help avoid unexpected costs later.
Stage 3 – Shortlist and Home Visits
At this point, you may be ready to narrow your list.
Choose your top 3–5 homes and schedule visits.
Bring a list of questions and take notes. It can be helpful to visit with another person so you can reflect together afterwards.
But also—pause when you walk in.
Take a breath and notice:
How does this home feel?
Many people say they “just knew.”
Homes to visit and dates:
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Stage 4 – The Waiting List
Some retirement homes have waiting lists, particularly for certain suite types.
Ask:
how long the wait is
how rooms are offered
what happens if you decline
It can be helpful to place your name on more than one list.
How do I know when it’s time?
This decision is often emotional and deeply personal.
Some people choose to move earlier—while they can fully enjoy the social life, activities, and ease of daily living.
Others wait until more support is needed with day-to-day routines.
There is no single “right” time—but it can help to reflect on:
safety and ease of living
changes in health or mobility
the upkeep of a home is becoming more difficult
a desire for connection and community
Stage 5 – Saying Yes and Moving Day
When a suite becomes available, you may need to decide quickly.
It can feel like a big step—but it is also the beginning of something new.
Once you say yes:
an assessment may be completed
paperwork is finalized
a move-in date is scheduled
There are services available to help with downsizing and moving, which can make the transition smoother.
A Gentle Reflection
Many people later share:
“I wish we had done this sooner.”
With the right setting, daily life can feel lighter, more connected, and more supported.
This article is meant as a guide.
There will always be questions that are unique to your situation—and we are here to help.
You will find additional resources on our website, and you are always welcome to reach out.
Joy Birch is the President of Highview. She draws on experience, research, and the many conversations she has with people and families navigating this transition.
Highview offers thoughtfully designed homes where people are cared for in ways that feel familiar, calm, and truly like home.
The goal is to create a place where people are supported to live with independence, connection, and purpose in daily life.